


Pocket Watches

by Astral_Isaac



Category: Gravity Falls, Over the Garden Wall (Cartoon)
Genre: Illuminati, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-25
Updated: 2015-04-25
Packaged: 2018-03-25 18:35:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3820627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Astral_Isaac/pseuds/Astral_Isaac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A shitty fanfiction about two shitty cartoon boys who fucking die. A friend and i wrote this at 4:20 a.m. on a thursday and i regret nothing. Have fun hail Illuminati</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pocket Watches

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The Meme Team](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=The+Meme+Team).



Wirt waltzed up on up to Dipper “um excuse me?”

To which Dipper looked over “May I help you?” he inquired and Wort slammed his fists on the desk “i need all of your pocket watches”  
Dipper Pines Tree gave him a bizzre and sicpicious look “Excuse me?” he said.

Wirt leaned clorser to his face “pocket watches. i need all of them.”

Dipper leaned his face away from wirt he was really close and it made him uuncomfortable in a gay way. “If you've got several hundred dollars...” and he eyed him.

WirT SHOUTED “THIS IS URGENT” AND Dipper “AND THEY AREN'T FREE YOU OVERSIZED GNOME MAN.”

Wirt tried to explain him “i am just a 16 year old boy what makes you think i have just a hundred dollars lying around” and then he rethought for a momento “i might be 17 who knows how long ive been wandering though the god damn woods” Dipper had heard of a lot of bizarre stuff beceuas he lives in garvity falls but that was still REALLY odd “What the actual fuck?”

Wirt SLAMMED HIS FIST ON THE TABLE AGAIN  “POCKET WATCHERS”

“WHAT WOULD YOU NEED THEM FOR?” dip doesn’t just gibe anyone all of the pocket watches in stock in the ship

Wirt was getting raddish in the face very angry “DO NOT QUESTION IT JUST HAND THEM OVER”

“ARE YOU ROBBING ME?”

“N-NO”

“YES?”

Dipper got in Wirt’s face and it made him feel gay again “You'll have to pay for the goddamn watches. One way. or another.” The comment made Wirt blush like an anime schoolgitl. Or more like an anime gnome prince because that’s what he is “SIR'. THAT IS ILLEGAL!” and he thought for a couple seconds maybe more “i have a singing frog. actually its my brothers”  Dipper angrily rolled his eyes “Does it look like I give a shit someone tell that to my dick. And I don't want a singing frog it just reminds me of that bad cartoon” TBH that cartoon reminds me more of Bill than Jason Funderburker.

“Looks like someone got friend zoned one too many times”

“Fuck off.”

Wirt was getting impatient now “ILLUMINATY TATTOO GUY. THE POCKET WATCHES.”

Pine twin yelled at the top of his lunges “TELL ME WHAT THEY ARE FOR. ALSO PAYMENT BROSKI”

“DO YOU WANT THE SINGING FROG OR NAH”

“NAH”

Maybe if wirt told him why, he would be more cooperation to give him the watches “okay well see i have to hypnotize a lot of birds. Like ASAP”

Dipper nodded his head in confused understanding “Okay, What” and Wirt said sassily “did i fucking stutter?” Dipper was probably high af or something he doesn’t really know what’s going on anymore neither do i “I- will you return the watches?”

“quite possible maybe”

Dipp held his hands up resignation “You know what, fine. Take them, but you owe them back or you owe me.” Wirt was really glad and said“alright cool thanks. where they at” Dipper pointed to a shelf conveniently having a shitload of pocket watches. How did wirt not notice.

Wirt goes to grab the box off the shelf but you see he is too short. He requests politely, because that’s the gentlemanly thing to do, for Dipper to help. Dipper goes over to help him sighing reluctantly. THE SHELF IS BROKEN WATCHES FALL ALL OVER BOTH OF THEM. WIRT LANDS HIS BOOTY RIGHT O N DIPPER. It probably hurt. “I am not responsible!!” wirst exclamined. Dripper groans and says oh I should have- ferrah is talking too much and im not gonna type it all.  “these are some rpetty god damn heavy pocket watchers.” Wirt tried to move but he failed which would probably exclaim why he is still lost.  “Dipping sauce I NEED YOUR HELP” HE KNOWS HIS NAME HE KNOWS LOTS OG THINGS. Probably friends with bill cipher. Dipper is not that strong, they’re probably gonna be there a while. “do you think I could call 911 for asutation like this?”

Wirt. He did a barrel roll like the wise buuny of the year probably 994 commanded. It WORKED

BUT HE WASN’T GONNA HELP DIPPER UP

HE WAS GONNA HAVE TO FIND HIS WNN WAY OUT OF HIS MESS  
“dipper said im gonnla slam my journal on your ass if you don’t get me up its gonna glow red” im not sure so. Im noy so sure if it’s the book or the ass that’s glowing so lets gust assume both.

Wirtr didn’t want his ass to hurt. That’s nt good for anyone. So he pulled dip dpo out.

But by the time they were out. it was too late

The swarm of birsds like Alfred kitchkock invaded the shaq

And all the mrachandire and the two young boys were dead. “Im so sorry Dipper. I loved you more than edgar allan pe” Dipper responded with tears in his eyes I love you too gnomeo  
  
They died in each others arms on the rug of the mystery shack and the x-files theme played.

**Author's Note:**

> (Also i figured it would be nice to let you know my friend and her squad made an animation of this. enjoy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XygVmzvfkzM )


End file.
